What you are about to read is not a formula for exactly how I think you all should live; I just want to let you in on a process of personal renewal I am in. Perhaps there will be principles you can learn from. Also I do not claim that the routine you are about to read about is set in stone for me; however, the clarity I have about needing to pursue emotional health is something I hope I never lose.
A few weeks ago, I realized that the rhythm of my life was all off. I felt irritable and out of sorts. I barely had any joy. One day at the church, when there was a lot of people in the building, I went and sat in my car because I just had this feeling like I was going to snap at the next person who asked me a question. I knew they didn’t deserve this side of me but I just felt emotionally depleted.
I started reading two books: “Simplify” by Bill Hybels and “Sacred Pathways to God,” by Gary Thomas. The Bible says in Ephesians chapter 4, “And he gave some as Apostles, and some, prophets; and some, preachers of the good news; and some to give care and teaching; 12 For the training of the saints as servants in the church, for the building up of the body of Christ.” If you aren’t exposing yourself to the prophets, preachers, caregivers and teachers for your personal enrichment, you are really missing out. Sadly, I know Christian leaders who only listen to other people to get ideas for growing their ministry and never seem to realize that they need growth first. Well, back to my situation.
I feel like the last two or three weeks have been a gradual return to sanity. I discovered that I wasn’t using my time wisely. By the way, I have no problem with Facebook, I really love connecting with people through social media, but I realized social media wasn’t feeding my soul. I desperately needed to drink deeply of the presence of God. I started setting my alarm for 5 A.M. and spending time sitting quietly at my desk at home having a conversation with God. My Pentecostal predecessors wouldn’t be impressed with my lack of volume and fervency. They might not approve of the steaming cup of coffee at hand either, but it works for me. I follow this up with reading the Bible. If you follow me on Facebook, you will see posts on many days that are insights from the section of the word I am reading that particular day.
I established a definite bed time and started reading a chapter of the Bible before I go to sleep. This replaced the habit of reading news apps on my iPad ’til I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I also deleted a news app that quite honestly had some articles and even some images that weren’t good for my soul. I still read a news app, but I have found one called 360 that seems to be healthier than the one I was using before.
As I meditated on the Lord, an old song came to my mind that my mother and dad use to sing. I have since discovered that it was written by William Martin, a Baptist pastor in Somerville, MA in 1910. It’s called, “My Heavenly Father Watches Over Me.” The lyrics are: I trust in God wherever I may be, Upon the land, or on the rolling sea, For come what may, from day to day, My heav’nly Father watches over me. I trust in God, I know He cares for me; On mountain bleak or on the stormy sea; Though billows roll, He keeps my soul; My heav’nly Father watches over me. The second verse says: He makes the rose an object of His care, He guides the eagle through the pathless air, And surely He remembers me; My heav’nly Father watches over me.
Can you see why I am encouraged? You can’t believe the words of that song are true and remain in despair. You see a part of the solution to my stress was rediscovering that I am God’s child not his tool or his employee. Jesus said to his disciples one day, “I don’t call you servants, I call you friends.”
I also decided I would not play Fantasy Football this year. Now there’s nothing wrong with Fantasy Football, but my brain needs a break. I have enough real things to worry about without worrying about a Fantasy.
Last Monday night, a charismatic pastor in Atlanta of a large ministry took his own life. He had sent his congregation an email telling them that he would not be available for the next ninety days. I wonder if he just wasn’t able to find God’s presence again. I don’t know, but I am so sad for him, his family and his church. WE MUST STOP RUNNING ON EMPTY PEOPLE! This is not abundant life!
Here’s the my takeaways from what I am experiencing.
1) Renewing ourselves begins with minor lifestyle adjustments and doesn’t always require major life changes like quitting your job or dropping out of positional ministry.
2) Renewing ourselves always involves restoring our relationship with God. If you’re broken, your relationship with God is broken, it’s a simple as that.
3) Renewing ourselves as Christians always means a rediscovery of God’s grace and how much he really loves you.
4) Renewing ourselves is our responsibility and requires our action. The Holy Spirit is not going to fall on you out of the ceiling and restore your mind to the tranquility you must have; you are going to have to slog through the muck of your over-committed life and find a simple formula for staying refreshed.
May you find a way to cultivate love, joy and peace in your daily life.
