We’re getting ready to host Robert Amaya from the movie “Courageous.”  By all standards related to a movie with strong Christian and family values this movie was wildly successful, grossing over $11 million it’s first weekend in the theatre’s.  But that’s not what I want to talk about.  What I want to talk about is the message of  making guys in particular feel the burden of being an influential figure who commands respect in the home.  These things I have just mentioned are at the core of the “Courageous” message.

Now for any blog readers who don’t know our church it’s important you understand that we are all about women in leadership.  Women have a big voice at BCC and we advocate women having a big voice in the home.  There are certainly situations where a lady is the “head of the household” and they need more of our support not less.  Also we teach that everyone is “complete in Christ” therefore women aren’t supposed to sit around waiting on a man to cover them before they can be what God called them to be. However I think that because of our  fear of inequality or being labeled as misogynist we are making it too easy for guys to just be  sperm donors, paychecks and a muscles for moving heavy objects.  “Courageous” challenges men to  model and shape the values that make families great, not just hang around the premises waiting for the game to come on.

The Sheriff in  “Courageous” urges his officers to spend more time with their families, citing research that shows how fatherless children are more likely to get into a life of Crime.  Deputy Nathan Hays, a fatherless man but devoted father of three is shown standing in the way of his teen-age daughter, Jade and dating boys.  Nathan ends up getting Jade to agree to only date with her father’s permission and only those her father approves of.  My question is, how would this go over in the average family.

Is the underlying message of Courageous one we really believe in anymore?  Are we open to a man stepping up to the plate and saying, “we’ve all talked this out, now here is what we are going to do.”   Would the type of leadership Nathan Hayes demonstrated in the movie be celebrated in our families?  Honestly, I’m not sure. I have been very hesitant to send guys home from Men’s conferences with mandates to lead their family in prayer or supervise their teen-agers activities because I know that the cultural bias is against him giving a directive, no matter how gentle or right he is.

Men operate best under pressure.  Healthy pressure is not the same as panic.  In case you hadn’t noticed men don’t operate well under “panic,” espcially when they feel they are being blamed more than counted on.   Panic is when he has basically had little  real participation in a child’s life and then when all hell is breaking loose, we want him to step in and be the leader.  In sports there are starters and there are back ups.  Back ups are called in when the game is either already won or when the team is so far behind they’ll never catch up.  We guys need to be starters in the family, not back up bench players. Men need to feel the pressure of molding their children’s values early on. Nathan didn’t get called by his wife to go looking for Jade after she disappeared with some low pants gangsta and mom was worried sick about where her baby was.  Nathan was there leading in the formation of Jade’s dating life.  This is the kind of healthy pressure men need to feel and I happen to know several guys who want it with all their hearts.

So, my point is; If we are going to invest all of this effort in a “Courageous” weekend let’s wholeheartedly embrace the message and not just see this as an outreach to outsiders.  If Robert Amaya’s visit is just an event for drawing in new people we have fallen short of the real power available when we bring the principle of honor back to our families.