(Mark 3:14) And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him.
(Luke 1:56) Mary stayed with Elizabeth about three months and then went back to her own home.
Christmas time is party time in America. Hey, and I’m not knocking it. There’s good food, good conversation and good connection to be had at these gatherings of friends that I am privileged to be a part of. (I am currently cherishing an iTunes gift card from last night’s gift swap … but still a little bitter that I didn’t get cup holder-shaped automobile device recharger.) However, when I see the investment we make to decorate, cook, invite, show up, dress up and then clean up; fulfilling our obligation to celebrate with masses, I am made to wonder why we make such little effort to be intimate with one another.
Now, I know that community is a God idea and festivals were a big part of the schedule that God wrote into law for his people, Israel, but long before God ever ordered his people to congregate around food, music and conversation, he ordained a one on one meeting of two hearts, minds & bodies. I am talking about Adam & Eve. Yes, marriage is the primary expression of intimacy, but not the only one. Jesus sent his disciples out by two; Barnabas traveled with Paul; Joshua assisted Moses and David bonded with Jonathan. Human loneliness isn’t addressed by a crowd, but by a friend.
One of the challenges of being a pastor in the 21st century is that our worth is measured by the size of the crowds we draw. This puts us on a treadmill of tirelessly trying to get as many as possible out to our next meeting. But the intimacy of one is still what actually validates us and meets our deepest need. Our ego may need a mob but our soul needs a single person who says, “I love you.” Marilyn Monroe, who apparently took her own life made this haunting confession, “Everybody wants me but nobody loves me.” No wonder I can name so many people who are good at building up crowds, but who privately confess deep insecurity.
The problem with investing energy in creating intimate moments with one person is that it all seems very inefficient. After all, if a few hours of labor can make a room full of people happy, or that one person I am in a covenant with happy, which should I choose? Logic says, “Celebrating with the house full of guests is a lot more bang for the buck.” The life of Jesus strongly argued against this logic of spreading ourselves as thin as possible to please the most people possible all the time. The life of Jesus strongly broadcasted, “More time with less people for the greatest kingdom impact.” While Jesus drew enormous crowds, his encore was a small intimate meal with the twelve disciples. Jesus chose to exit this world from a little holy huddle, not a crowd scene. From this little band of followers who shared his love and life, Christ launched the movement that changed the world.
Now, I am not at all suggesting we don’t work to create the big crowd experience; It has its place. What I do suggest is that we create balance. If you’re married, block out a day or an evening this holiday to be with your spouse. Determine to make them feel like a million bucks. Even though you won’t be the buzz of your social circle for throwing an amazing party, you will be nourishing the building block of civilization. Have two or three of your best friends over to celebrate the fact that God has put you into each other’s life. Take a lonely person to Starbucks and order them one of those expensive holiday beverages; just sit there and converse for an hour. Make it clear you have nothing better to do than spend time with them.
As I have already alluded to, God founded the world on a couple not a crowd. So this holiday, celebrate individuals and not just hordes. Ultimately, deep and personal conversations, not small talk, transform our lives and nurture our souls. Tis the season to celebrate your soul mates.
