Until this week, I thought the reason one sought to have fun was to increase happiness levels, but I was wrong. While I made this discovery accidentally while vacationing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, it was also a result of reading Sonja Lyubormisky’s book, “The Myths of Happiness,” a while back. Her research claims to prove that experiences and acquisitions only result in very temporary spikes of happiness and that we all return quickly to a pre-determined level of personal happiness. Basically, she affirms what preachers have been saying for years, “you can’t buy or enjoy your way to the elusive state of happiness.” You’re either happy or your not.
Disclaimer: I didn’t decide to analyze happiness versus fun or I might have skewed the results. In case you happen to be one who scoffs at people like me who are always poking around for the deeper meaning of stuff; at least trust my lack of intentionality.
Last Monday, the gang decided to go jet skiing but I decided to hang back with Edan, my grandson and Cheri at the vacation beach house. Now keep in mind that I regard hurtling across the top of the water at 35 or 40 miles an hour as incredible fun. For something to be fun it has to cause, to varying degrees, the spontaneous release of the fun chemicals: adrenalin, endorphins, and dopamine. Now, it doesn’t have to be dangerous to be fun, but it helps. Sure, unfocused relaxing with loved ones could be called fun, but I would prefer to use the word satisfying for that experience. My definition of fun here is very narrow; it’s an activity that for moments or hours one gets completely lost in, such as riding a roller coaster or attending that Tommy Emmanuel Concert with my daughter Elyse, or being in person at the Super Bowl with my son Jason watching Malcolm Butler make “The Interception.” When you’re having “fun” you can hardly think of anything else, there’s no room for worry and less room than normal for caution. All the senses are totally involved. Terms like joy, satisfaction and fulfillment don’t qualify as mind losing fun.
Okay, back to the beach house and my unscientific research project on “fun vs. happiness.” While no one coerced or even suggested I not go jet skiing I felt a bit of an emotional let down watching everybody else drive off toward their possible deaths. However, before the jet skiers could have gotten to the dock I realized, I was just as happy as if I had gone. As a bonus, I had saved money and greatly increased the chance that my vacation wouldn’t include a tour of the OBX E.R. This realization that I was reasonably happy; well as happy as I ever get, wasn’t impacted by not going Jet Skiing. At this point I decided I would pay attention to the jet skiers when they got back and try to observe what they got out of their temporary insanity.
One might assume that since I saved money and increased my life expectancy that the God who called us to be good stewards of our lives was saying, “see their fun is borderline evil and spiritual maturity would stop you all from being such fools.” But wait a minute, God created that chemical pleasure cocktail in our brains and God mandated at least seven annual celebratory feasts for Israel. God even designed procreation so it would be initiated by recreation. Hey, I’m just getting started. I can theologically shred the church curmudgeons who want to strike fun and all it’s synonyms from the Christian thesaurus. But, is personal happiness the main purpose of fun? Years ago, I actually heard a pastor say, regarding regional youth activities that the word “fun should be stricken from our publicity.”
What I observed in the kamikaze suicide group on their return from jet skiing was that they were telling stories about how much fun they had. I heard about people falling off. My grand daughter Aliyah was disappointed that she didn’t get thrown of the back of the Jet Ski more. She actually stated that she wanted it to be “more crazy.” I heard people bragging about going fifty miles an hour. Now, I didn’t interview any of them about their pre and post happiness levels. I am quite sure interviewing fellow vacationers about their happiness levels gets you thrown off vacation island.
I am convinced that what we get out of having fun is not higher levels of happiness but greater levels of connection. The purpose of all the adrenalin, endorphins, and dopamine rushing through our cranium is to bond us together with other humans as we lose ourselves in a shared exhilarating experience. It actually doesn’t have to be dangerous, fun almost always involve some type of risk, even if it’s just the risk of letting your guard down and being emotionally vulnerable. Uptight control freaks cannot have fun and therefore cannot be truly intimate with other humans. There’s a huge intimacy with God factor involved in having fun as well, but I’ll save that for a sermon series. We need to take our fun seriously. I’m not just trying to do a cute word play, I really mean it; fun-lessness is a spiritual problem just as much as fun-idolatry is.
Hey, summer vacation season is nearly over; stop reading blogs and go have some fun.
