You’ve probably heard it said, “hurting people hurt people.”  Have you noticed that when we say that “hurting people hurt people”, we’re always talking about someone else?  I have had to swallow hard and admit that at times I have been one of those people who have hurt others because I was hurting.  That’s not an excuse just an acknowledgement of fact. Coming from the perspective of knowing that at times I can be the person exporting my own pain, is important because it truly creates empathy and understanding toward those who offend me.  Empathy and understanding facilitate healing and this creates hope.

The “my pain + my presence = your pain” equation can’t be corrected by merely learning about the pain we’re causing.  Think about it.  If you just cut your hand open and you are running for something to wrap it in, do you really care if you step on my foot en route? When we are in emotional pain, people who claim we are hurting them may even anger us.  Why? Because we fear that people who want us to fess up are trying to manipulate us.  Secondly, we may feel insecure about giving another human being the upper hand.  Admitting we’re wrong puts us in the losing position.  If you are already down, you don’t want to go any lower, right?  Finally, we are often pretty sure that disaster is imminent anytime another human being is in control.  After all, wasn’t it someone else being in control that got us wounded?  The problem with being wounded is you don’t think you can wound.

What lesson do we need to take away from the adage, “hurting people hurt people?”  We have to simply take responsibility for the management of our pain.  That’s not the same as saying, “suck it up and stop whining.”  I am saying pour cold water on the fire of aches instead of gasoline.  Years ago, I learned this statement that I only wish I had practiced more consistently throughout my life.  Here it is, “When there is pain don’t curse it, don’t nurse, don’t rehearse it.  Disperse it and you will reverse it.”

No matter what life or people do to you, you are responsible for what you become.  Stay sweet and whatever you do, don’t go around in pain, or your friends and family will pay the price.

Hebrews 12:4  Let no one become like a bitter plant that grows up and causes many troubles with its poison.